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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

fading light


As I listen to cicadas fade in and out through the window behind my head I am thankful that the weather has been fairly kind to us this year. The mosquitoes seem to be as brutal as ever but the temperature is softer... warm to hot in the afternoons and cooling off most nights. We haven't turned on our AC this season which allows me sit here surrounded by two open windows with content cats perched in them.

My laptop is the warmest and brightest thing here as the light fades outside. This quiet time is something I cherish.

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Thanksgiving 2007


menu for those who are left behind or who prefer to travel when everyone else isn't... (for the 6 of us...)

one and half roasted chickens
a turkey breast
spinach salad
gingered candied yams
holiday bread
marencho cheese
cranberry sauce
gravy
bread pudding
pecan pie
several bottles of Protocolo!

a complete improvisation...
and another blessing to be counted. The only thing that would make it better would be to have my parents here with us. It is am ambitious drive for youngsters and a bit much for each of us. I miss them.

Mr. dd's parents will be here but we'll miss seeing his niece. We have two friends who have endured divorces from their spouses during the time we've known them - they'll both be here since their children will be with the other branch of their family. I hope it will be fun.

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Saturday, August 11, 2007

Day is Done

Thursday evening as I lay in my bed recovering from a migraine I thought about my friend D. I was expecting a phone call or a visit from him that evening since he was leaving for the Middle East the following day. I've missed him a great deal this summer. There was a time in our life where he was my second set of eyes and mine his as we sweated through long summers in unairconditioned studios. Both of us live very different lives now. We are both married and have bigger circles of family and friends to distract us from that very specific kind of solitude it takes to work alone everyday with the occasional friendly distraction.

He showed up. I was in bed and Mr. dd came to fetch me. He was wound up and in the throws of 11th hour packing, errands and unexpected delays. He took the time to look at my newest work and we talked about his family. He comes from a large Catholic tribe and is married to a lovely writer with two children. He has a sister who lives in CA but is here to visit her mother and family for the last time. His sister is dying of cancer and D was visibly upset because she might not make it back to CA before the cancer takes her last breath. She has fought her disease for the past 10 years and has continued to work in morphine induced state for the past two years in order to keep her health insurance. She's a lovely woman who has made her career crunching numbers for the film industry. The fact that she has spent her last two years focusing on things of such little consequence in order to pay her medical bills breaks all of our hearts.
Such scenarios should be the topic of a another post.

By 11pm Thursday evening I walked D to his car and wished him well on his journey around the world. I wondered how he could leave with his sister in such a delicate state - (I KNOW this man)... and wondered if he would have to turn around and come back.

Today I was on my porch working and up walks dear D with our new neighbor. He brought her into the hood and we are very thrilled to have her here. He couldn't get on the plane yesterday because it has become apparent that his sister is in a state of decline and will not make it back to CA. He is buying time to be here with her. It broke my heart to see him in this state and yet I know it is right that she and he are both here. She is meant to be here with her family and D is supposed to be by her side.

He has struggled with his work being so far from home for close to five years now and the universe has challenged each departure every step of the way. He and his lovely family will be in our hearts this week. They are a second family for me.

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Sunday, July 22, 2007

Breathwork

Nothing heavy today. I've been buried in my studio putting off people who want to schedule meetings with me. These are people I like who I enjoy working with... but it is a huge distraction and not lucrative enough for me to break my stride in order to accommodate their needs. Why do I transport myself and my studio materials to the other side of the state, the nation, the world? To avoid telling people no. To avoid the distraction of telling them no. To avoid the judgement I must make on whether to say yes or no. MOST IMPORTANTLY: to avoid being called upon. Its not personal. Its business.

Of course I am distracting myself now as I wait for paint to dry and think about what to make Mr dd for dinner. We are celebrating the fact that he found his glasses. He's been miserable since Friday morning, supplementing his stigmatism with various reading glasses I leave around the house. Unfortunately they do him more harm than good since he spends all day writing at a computer and he needs his prescribed lenses. Voila! I found them this afternoon.

We were girding up to purchase a second pair which would have set him back a small fortune so it really was a blessing to be counted.

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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

the life we pretend to live

We live very close to a number of excellent cafes and coffee shops. The closest chain is a mile away which is closer than we'd like.

Are blogs the the cafe society of our era? I am beginning to think so. If I had the time to hang I don't know if I'd find folks there I'd want to hang with or if I'd be willing to spend so much money on coffee on a regular basis. I make a pretty mean Cup of Joe myself and there are certainly times when I get a great deal of insight from my communiques here. Would I get as much out of my time with the barrista's? Not as regularly. We're all multitasking...meeting, planning, networking, listmaking, websurfing, etc.

There ARE places that defy these doubts but we are there far too infrequently to be considered regulars. Instead, here I am.

It's too late for me to drink coffee anyway and if I went to a bar/restaurant with good coffee I'd have to deal with the smoke of the masses. Living in a tobacco state is great for buying cheap cigarettes to give my European friends but it means we'll probably always have to taste smoke when we eat out for many years to come. Its not as bad as Berlin but its bad enough to keep me out of restaurants and cafes I love when I know they'll be full of smokers... Fri night at Cous Cous, for example!

In the meantime we look for places with patios when the weather is agreeable. We try to take in the present with a glass of wine of a cafe au lait and all is well with the world.

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Friday, July 06, 2007

telling time

As I've matured (cough, cough) to the point where I may believe that I am as much genX as boomer (I actually seem to fall somewhere between the two... like the rat I am)... the art I make, my political point of view... all seem to be falling between the cracks... yet I've learned over the years that regardless of age some things transcend the test of time and have a longer shelf life than I would've imagined. A number of years ago I remember seeing RHPS for the first time since the late 80's. I feared I wouldn't love it... that it would reflect a tacky time in my life that I didn't want to remember. I was right and wrong. It's just as tacky as it ever was and I loved it more than ever!!!!

The B-52's are touring this summer and I've learned that I love them now just as much as I ever did. I am praying for good weather and a cool summer breeze so we can dance this mess around that we've come to know as adulthood.

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Thursday, June 21, 2007

the longest day

Mr dd and I were married near this site, not far from the port of Appin. It was built as a home by the Stewarts of Appin. The view from the castle includes the Isle of Lismore, famed for its strong religious community which dates back many centuries. With its Celtic connections and good strong Scotch the shroud of history made the present even richer.

I miss being in that part of the world in mid June. It was a big part of my life for quite a while. It was the most healing experience of my life which is wny we chose to be married there. It was so quiet you could hear the sound of cows pulling the grass out of the ground in the morning.

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Art and Culture Crossings

Left: the mixed media print I'll be showing in Korea and China next month. I used mixed media on archival digital composite print of my drawings.

I've posted about the wonderful experience I had showing art in S. Korea in 2002. In the meantime an artist I know has continued her mission to create opportunities for international exchanges between American and S. Korean artists. She is an exotic force of nature... capable of moving mountains and organizing artists scattered all over the world. Each has diverse experiences... traveling to Korea and then hosting Korean Artists in the US.

Virginia artists will have work traveling to S. Korea and China next month. I don't know how our team will do it. The dollar is in the loo so there aren't many artists able to afford the trip. I don't think the other people involved have a clue as to what our team will have to endure to get this artwork on the flight and then through customs. We have a forceful leader, I'm telling ya because it is something one cannot take lightly... being responsible for the safety of other artists' work as well as making sure it arrives on time and in good shape so it can be installed in China AND S. Korea! Its harder and can be expensive as moving a mountain. She'll make it happen.

It's a dream opportunity - to travel to China and then to S. Korea again. I just can't swing the money or the time away from my work right now. If I were traveling to that part of the world I think I'd be compelled to stay longer... perhaps work on a residency in Australia, visit Thailand...it is so far away and there is much to learn... plus I have so many friends in Aussieland who love a good glass of wine as much as I do. (The Australians I know don't drink Foster's. Some of them actually really dig Miller Ponies, the Champayne of Beers. If I ever get to Australia I'll be sure to take as many as I can squeeze into my carry on - and that's even harder than moving art these days!")

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Girlfriends

Women in Art

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A girlfriend sent me this. Watching it is like imagining the most wonderful girls' night out or tea party with all the best women I know. The food, wine, coffee and tea would be inspired by the *gossip and opinions of world events - which would be timleess. Please rsvp and, as always, bring a great girlfriend.

*Depicted: 500 Years of Female Portraits in Western Art - Leonardo Da Vinci, Raphael - Raffaello, Titian - Tiziano Vecellio , Sandro Botticelli , Giovanni Antonio Boltraffio, Albrecht Dürer, Lucas Cranach the Elder, Messina, Pietro Perugino, Hans Memling, El Greco, Hans Holbein, Fyodor Stepanovich Rokotov , Peter Paul Rubens, Gobert, Caspar Netscher, Pierre Mignard, Jean-Marc Nattier, Élisabeth-Louise Vigée-Le Brun, Sir Joshua Reynolds, Franz Xaver Winterhalter, Alexei Vasilievich Tyranov, Vladimir Lukich Borovikovsky, Alexey Gavrilovich Venetsianov, Antoine-Jean Gros, Orest Adamovich Kiprensky, Amalie, Jean-Baptiste Camille Corot, Édouard Manet, Flatour, Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres, Wontner, William-Adolphe Bouguereau, Comerre, Leighton, Blaas, Renoir, Millias, Duveneck, Cassat, Weir, Zorn, Mucha, Paul Gaugan, Henri Matisse, Picabia, Klimt, Hawkins, Magritte, Salvador Dali, Malevich, Merrild, Modigliani, Pablo Picasso

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Thursday, November 23, 2006

Thankfulness


Blessings
wonderful musicians and music, often free, most anytime we can take the time to listen
a loving, honorable husband
loving, caring parents
a grandmother who would still be gardening if she had the choice
strange siblings who try to connect with the person that is me
an extended family of cousins and inlaws that give us great comfort
beautiful nieces and nephews who are surviving the realities of my strange family
a few good, great friends
talent that has been the seed of an interesting life
a big, vintage house that we can grow into even if we can't afford to heat it
a nice wardrobe and excessive shoe collection
(everyone has to have a vice)
the opportunity to travel and find my muse
two loving felines
a few good students
a great library in our home
a lovely neighborhood we love walking in with a great vintage
theatre for second run films around the block
and FINALLY
democracy in action evidenced when Americans finally decided to kick those
bonehead arrogant Republicans out of office earlier this month.


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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

a message from a mermaid


A friend sent me this wonderful missive, beautifully stated:

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

~anonymous~

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Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Timeless

Cannery Row still exists in 2006.
Surrounded by Country Clubs and
resorts, it offers folks like us a place
to imagine a different life.

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Sunday, April 02, 2006

April in Paris


My friend Yvette is back in Australia and I've been left to my own devices to amuse myself. Of course this can be dangerous since I am most prone to being a work acoholic. Yvette's last night in town we attended a vernissage at Galeri Felli. One of the artists I met told me of an exhibition at Belleville in a Squat Space that sounded interesting. I mentioned it to the Frenchman Fab and Australian Jane and they were up for it - so we were off. I haven't really hung out with Fab and Jane very much. They are Yvettels buddies - but its great. It is a splendid evening and we started the evening at the Canal St. Martin near Belleville. It is so nice out that we sat outside and ordered Pastisse - my first of the season - my first in maybe ten years. The moon is rising, the stars are out and Jane and Fab are in love. Somehow its ok being a third wheel in Paris although it would be even better is Mr. DD were here.

We made our way to the Squat Space - a large empty building in Belleville that was taken over for the evening. Of course the entire event was a huge fire hazzard with smokers, crowds and stairwells that I wouldn't want to see in good light adding an air of risk to the event. The show was of course about democracy and the war in Iraq... with contemporary video, performance art, painting, sculpture and installation filling three floors of timeless decrepitude. I loved it.
The building pulsed. It leaked water out the side... the streets were deserted...it was Paris.

Afterwards we were to PHO again. I first visited it Yvette's last night. I think the food is Vietnamese but I'm not sure. I know I love their spicey soup and it is so cheap I would eat here once a week if it were a little closer to the Cite. Fab and Jane are in love. I makes me homesick for my beloved. I wonder if they will be able to make love stay. It is not an easy thing.

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Monday, June 27, 2005

number 9

It's been almost a week since Mr dd and I celebrated our ninthsummer solstice as a married couple.

He took the afternoon off so we could have an early dinner and drinks on the deck of a local bistro before we headed to the pedestrian bridge. A yellow moon rose over the James and I was reminded of how much I love this man and this river.

I wouldn't say the direction of my life has been determined by the course of a river but their mythology and force has certainly shaped the regions where I've spent most of my time. Literature and recreation aside, I have known rivers to take what they want when they need it and there isn't anything one can do but watch and get out of the way.

When I was 17 or 18 I was waiting for my friend and classmate Antonio to come to work so I
could take a break. Antonio was a smart, athletic classmate of mine as well as a co-worker. We were in the same chemistry class and may even have shared a lab station. I went up to the office and asked when Antonio was due to arrive since it was past the hour I was expecting him to walk in the door. The office manager whose name I don't recall said "Oh, didn't you hear, Antonio died!" I just shook my head, assuming he was being a smart ass, turned on my heel and went back to my register.

A while later I went back to the office and asked another office manager when Antonio was expected to arrive and the man behind the counter told me that Antonio had drowned that day...he was swimming in the Mississippi RIver with his girlfriend. She swam to the shore and waved to him. She looked away for a second and then back and he was gone.... I attended his memorial service in a small Baptist church on the other side of town. It was the first and maybe only time I have attended a service in an African American church. The music was like a salve, with his sister singing a solo in the choir...until her voice cracked, she crumbled to her knees and started wailing uncontrollably. It was almost more than I could bear...I wept for Antonio, for Linda Buck, for everyone that has ever had their life taken in their prime.

I took ballet lessons throughout grade school. My teacher was very exotic and true and always seemed to say whatever needed to be said. My sister and I started off taking classes in a studio in an old storefront. We were children sharing the floor with long, tall girls in tights and leotards. Elise sat in their laps while they braided her hair. I watched what I was sure must be a real ballerina, a girl named Linda. She was tall and dark and serious. She practiced all the time and rehearsed without regard others. Their was a general air of girliness that permated the rest of the studio.It was a field of Delta Belles, with only a few exceptions.

Sister C. was her mentor. She was Sister C's star. Several years later I remember this as I studied the bronze toe shoes that were all that was left of the brilliant Linda Buck. She had been at a party on a sand bar in the Mississippi River with other kids her age - they were either highschool seniors or young Delta State students...and she suddenly disappeared. Drowned... Gone.

I have a Red Cross certificate in water safety (WSI) and have been a swimmer all of my life...but my feelings about the river's I have known is that they are places to be admired and respected from boats, rocks or water's edge. I don't swim in them and would prefer that most everyone else stay out of them...they are exquisite "roadways" as much as anything else and I don't care to get into their way. The Army Corp of Engineers will spend millions trying to make the Mississippi mind the course they set for it...and it will...until it changes course.

Mr dd and I love the James and I hope we will be able to spend more time there celebrating its beauty. He doesn't know the Mississippi. I hope we can spend time on its waters while it's minding its current course. New Orleans may be N. America's version of Venice soon and I'd like to take the ferry to Algiers with Mr dd one more time.

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Friday, September 10, 2004

Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future...

Except here. Everyone and everything looks exactly the same.... except me. I am ten years older and everyone else looks as if I just turned the page and they aged a day. ooohhh. Its a real mindfqck.

Ultimately, this man is responsible for all of this.
He defeinitly deserves a round of applause though this sculpture seems an appropriate thank you.

I've wanted to commemorate my gratitude for a long time. If I start with this photo of the sculpture perhaps it will go further as time slips on by.

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