Art Armor
Its time to put on the armor. After a number of rather depressing phone calls yesterday I wasn't surprised to finally hear that the commission I was praying for went to another artist. As soon as I knew she was another one of the finalists I knew it was a long shot. Its like competing against Lance Armstrong... you gotta do it for the love of the ride since the odds are you know he is going to win as long as he plays. Yes, its a head game, too. Still, odds are odds and they can change. I always resented the importance of football when I was a student...so much money for so little return.... but when our team broke Bear Bryant's 200 game winning streak I was impressed and realized that sometimes that head game can work to a loser's advantage. (oh, our team usually lost - to make it even more humliating for the mightly crimson tide...)I don't want to be a player that has to rely on the ineptitude of a winner to play a winning hand.
Thats the game of a gambler. I just want a chance to make a contribution... to leave a mark. The work required just for the chance to leave a mark is more than most people are willing to do. It is exhausting, occassionally inspiring and financially risky. Thats where I am today.
I have the opportunity to participate in the Strasbourg Art Fair in France this fall. I was contacted by a gallery in Madrid who is interested in representing me. It sounds very exciting but the fact is that to participate the require their artists to pay part of the booth fee for the event. (Its like FIAC in Paris or the Armory Show in NYC). In exchange for this their commission is substantially lower than most galleries. Its a lot of dollars since the fee is in Euros. I have been invited to participate in this type of event before - in Venice - but I didn't have representation, don't speak Italian or French and felt it would not be money well spent. I've always wanted to visit Venice...but that did not seem to be the right time or event.
Most galleries pay for all of these expenses and take a larger commission...more risk for them. This is more risk for me and I am not feeling very confident at the moment. I am feeling like a loser... or someone who is grasping beyond their reach... is that an overachiever? I don't think I am one of those...what I am, it sucks at the moment.
I need to strap on my art armor and face the world today. I have family coming to town and a house to clean, work to finish, proposals to put together, etc. And all I want to do is sit on the screened porch, listen to the rain and read Hemingway.
He is one of those writers I read more ABOUT in my early life than I actually read. Now I find it more relevant to my headspace than most other things.
posted by "" at 8/19/2005 10:01:00 AM
6 Comments:
Amieo: It is so tough to face challenges after receiving discouraging news. But (here comes a string of encouraging platitudes) remember, the ability to keep trying is more important to eventual success than any other attribute. Obvious, sometimes we need to come up with new strategies and approaches, but it is an armor-girding kind of thing. I hope you decide to do the show. Good luck.
Amie:
Keep your chin up. More, better oon the way.
Is there a kitchen tool that helps one prop one's chin? (that isn't fattening, anyway...) If so, please advise!
Yes, yes, yes, FW, there is a lot of truth in those platitudes. Thank you, dear Arbiter. I need some new strategies that don't involve time travel... something that I can reference when I am blue and need to prop that chin or light another fire under my aging asterick.
I forgot to mention that my friend and colleague who won this commission is 10 years younger than I.
Amie:
If you insist on placing conditions on the kitchen tools then I can be no use to you. I think at this point, for you to apply yourself to any available kitchen tool may help. If I was in the neighborhood I'd make cookies for you if that's any consolation.
not conditions - possibilities!
Still, cookies would be good.
When the powers that were said let them eat cake(!) I would have asked where to find the cookies.
Hey, no cookies for Amieo unless you deliver the promised enchiladas (still owing) to Innana and me. Then you can swing on down to Richmond and deliver the cookies (if I don't nab them all first). No, I'll be good. I'll make cookies for Amieo too.
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