Are you ready? But who cares....have fun anyway

Thankfulness

Blessings
wonderful musicians and music, often free, most anytime we can take the time to listen
a loving, honorable husband
loving, caring parents
a grandmother who would still be gardening if she had the choice
strange siblings who try to connect with the person that is me
an extended family of cousins and inlaws that give us great comfort
beautiful nieces and nephews who are surviving the realities of my strange family
a few good, great friends
talent that has been the seed of an interesting life
a big, vintage house that we can grow into even if we can't afford to heat it
a nice wardrobe and excessive shoe collection
(everyone has to have a vice)
the opportunity to travel and find my muse
two loving felines
a few good students
a great library in our home
a lovely neighborhood we love walking in with a great vintage
theatre for second run films around the block
and FINALLY
democracy in action evidenced when Americans finally decided to kick those
bonehead arrogant Republicans out of office earlier this month.

a message from a mermaid

A friend sent me this wonderful missive, beautifully stated:

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

~anonymous~

Memento

Autumn 2006 has been tough. I keep waiting for it to get better. I've tried to DO things to make it better...fortunately there have been a few high points. The election results were a bright spot on an otherwise dark horizon. Thats ONE - ok, LOTS of things to be thankful for... now lets just hope the new regime doesn't screw it up. I've had some lovely students. The drawing above was completed by one of my students earlier this autumn. It's based on a Leonardo's masterpiece.

I mourn the afternoon light and early dusk and realize that today would be our daughter's fifth birthday. It hit me a few days ago when I picked up a ceramic rattle that a friend made. I was driving across town (very rare) and wondering why I haven't been able to climb out of this seasonal funk... and it hit me. So much has happened in the past few years... I just feel like getting off the bus sometimes and standing in front of it with my hand up like a traffic cop... STOP!

Our life is spinning into overdrive and I have determined that the best thing for me to do is take time to mourn. Mr. dd has been here for me and then not. I don't feel we are on the same page right now... and that makes me saddest of all. Oh well.