Memento

Autumn 2006 has been tough. I keep waiting for it to get better. I've tried to DO things to make it better...fortunately there have been a few high points. The election results were a bright spot on an otherwise dark horizon. Thats ONE - ok, LOTS of things to be thankful for... now lets just hope the new regime doesn't screw it up. I've had some lovely students. The drawing above was completed by one of my students earlier this autumn. It's based on a Leonardo's masterpiece.

I mourn the afternoon light and early dusk and realize that today would be our daughter's fifth birthday. It hit me a few days ago when I picked up a ceramic rattle that a friend made. I was driving across town (very rare) and wondering why I haven't been able to climb out of this seasonal funk... and it hit me. So much has happened in the past few years... I just feel like getting off the bus sometimes and standing in front of it with my hand up like a traffic cop... STOP!

Our life is spinning into overdrive and I have determined that the best thing for me to do is take time to mourn. Mr. dd has been here for me and then not. I don't feel we are on the same page right now... and that makes me saddest of all. Oh well.