late but not forgotten
Loss of life is a drag for the living...especially when we are confronted with the fact that it can be cut short... unfairly short. It is like a wound that resists healing. One of the things that helps me get past it is that kick in the ass and conscious effort I try to make to live as fully as possible every day afterwards. (Until I am comfortably numb again.. the laissez-faire of American life).
My last night with my husband for a long time was spent at an informal wake for the musician Bryan Harvey and his family. We needed to be elsewhere (sleeping!) but realized this celebration of life was more essential to our soul than a few zzzz's. Jazz standards and an open mic for musician friends from both the east and west coasts brought everyone to their feet and to the dance floor. At the end of the evening as each musician packed up a lone booth broke into an acapella version of Amazing Grace. My heart skipped a beat and the tears we felt were finally for joy.... bye bye blackbird.... good bye.
Now we are left with a commitment to make the best of the time we have left. This life is what we make of it, however much time we have left.
My resolutions for the next year are ongoing but the ones I have tried to embrace NOW are as follows:
a) take better care of my teeth (I hate going to the dentist and after an 18month absence from THE CHAIR I was thrilled to learn I didn't have any cavities...) Somethings haven't changed since I was 12....
b) I will tell people I admire and know of as an aquaintance how much I appreciate the good work they do and the contributions they make to our community.... I am very shy and not prone to starting up conversations with people I don't know well. I will change. This is hard work for me but after all that has happened during the last 12 days it is a start.
c) I will make a greater effort to connect with my siblings. I do love them very much BUT we are very different and live on opposite coasts (all three). We are like kittens that came from the same litter but all seem like different breeds (and no, we aren't adopted and we definitely share the same DNA even if we've doubted it at times!)
d) Try harder. I get discouraged by the politics of everything....art, government, meetings, blah, blah, blah.
e) Worry less about things of little consequence
f) Eat better and live more: greener, more simply; green tea, less coffee. live music, less TV. More passion, less excuses.
g) Laugh more. cry less.
My last night with my husband for a long time was spent at an informal wake for the musician Bryan Harvey and his family. We needed to be elsewhere (sleeping!) but realized this celebration of life was more essential to our soul than a few zzzz's. Jazz standards and an open mic for musician friends from both the east and west coasts brought everyone to their feet and to the dance floor. At the end of the evening as each musician packed up a lone booth broke into an acapella version of Amazing Grace. My heart skipped a beat and the tears we felt were finally for joy.... bye bye blackbird.... good bye.
Now we are left with a commitment to make the best of the time we have left. This life is what we make of it, however much time we have left.
My resolutions for the next year are ongoing but the ones I have tried to embrace NOW are as follows:
a) take better care of my teeth (I hate going to the dentist and after an 18month absence from THE CHAIR I was thrilled to learn I didn't have any cavities...) Somethings haven't changed since I was 12....
b) I will tell people I admire and know of as an aquaintance how much I appreciate the good work they do and the contributions they make to our community.... I am very shy and not prone to starting up conversations with people I don't know well. I will change. This is hard work for me but after all that has happened during the last 12 days it is a start.
c) I will make a greater effort to connect with my siblings. I do love them very much BUT we are very different and live on opposite coasts (all three). We are like kittens that came from the same litter but all seem like different breeds (and no, we aren't adopted and we definitely share the same DNA even if we've doubted it at times!)
d) Try harder. I get discouraged by the politics of everything....art, government, meetings, blah, blah, blah.
e) Worry less about things of little consequence
f) Eat better and live more: greener, more simply; green tea, less coffee. live music, less TV. More passion, less excuses.
g) Laugh more. cry less.
posted by "" at 1/12/2006 06:57:00 PM
3 Comments:
Ah, so there you are. Hope all is well.
Those are very admirable resolutions. I think being shy is written into our DNA and is hard to overcome, but worth working on. By the way, you never seem shy to me in public.
It is something I've been working on for thirty years. Sometimes it is too much work and I'd rather be in the studio or reading. (or worse - watching a movie I've seem before)
All good thoughts, darlin'. Sometimes it's hard when it all flies by so fast.
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