Timeline
Ok, I've been home one month today. Depression is setting in. Help!! I've tried playing Oprah and counting my blessings and the tried and true slogan we've used the past few years "Well, it could have been worse..." (oh, we've used that one a LOT....) but nothing seems to be keeping it at bay. Of course its complicated. Its not just me. Its my life. Our life. Yeah, It could be worse.
When I am not part of this life, well things are different. I work late and get up early and I am abstinant with no expectation of physical love... sort of an art nun. No, its not a balanced life but at least I am productive and have something to show for my time other than a messy house and garden that looks more and more like the wild kingdom. (without the exotic animals... although I've been putting our cat on a leash outside and she seems to like it.) I walk everywhere, cook a lot, read more and am more focused. There is no television. There isn't a lot of media. No one expects me to show up so I have the freedom to either show up or not.
I think part of the reason I love being away is that I can escape everyone's expectations but my own, which are more than enough.
I wish I had been able to go to Korea last week with a group of fellow artists I am exhibiting with. The timing wasn't right. So, here I am. It is a holiday weekend. We have some plans, nothing terribly exciting. Our tenth wedding anniversary is coming up. I keep trying to get Mr. DD to commit to a plan or tell me his preferences. At one point, a year or two ago I hoped we would be able to spend out tenth in Scotland. I would love to revisit the island where we were married...
Last summer I thought it would be fun to have a Far, Far Away Party (like in Shrek 2) since I assumed correctly we probably wouldn't make it out of town. At this point, I doubt we'll even sure we'll be off work. Its going to be that kind of summer - one where we have to make up for time spent elsewhere doing other things. Sigh. I know, it could be worse.
We'll get through it but I really want to figure out a way where the life we live HERE can be as good as the life I live elsewhere. Is is possible? I don't know.
Labels: domesticity
posted by "" at 5/27/2006 10:53:00 AM
4 Comments:
ahhhhh,
the coming back from europe blues.
boy, that one hit me bad last time i came back from Germany. i really didn't want to come back. i felt germany really was my real home, although there is much to be said for certain things here.
my depression was so bad, i got myself that job....you know...
.....
timeline indeed,
M. & MMe S., Bon jour! 1/30/94
How are you? I am well and settling in quickly in Paris. the city of lights is a wonder. I've always had questions about the French, but never about Paris. I am lucky to be in this phenomenal place, and the more I learn about the French, the more humane I see them. I think they are growing on me.
So, I have been here almost two weeks, and have pretty much feathered my nest. I've met a few people, found the places I need to get to often: bistros, pastisseries, libraries, supermarkets, etc. I even have the hours for several of the incredible Parisian pisanes, (swimming pools, there are 31 in the city!)
Anyway, so I have begun work, it seems. I found the closest supplier of art materias, and I've set up my show. I will be exhibiting the work I made here between the 28th of April to the 9th of May ..in the Salle Sandoz. I will be showing in a salon with 2 Chinese artists, A Frenchman and a Romanian...a little different than F...v....
I iwll also begin taking French lessons February1. I should learn a few things before my mom gets here. Do you all think you will be coming? If you do, PLEASE bring any:
Old Paperback books (that I can leave here when I come home) I found an Ann Tyler downstairs that was good (If Morning Ever Comes)> Classics like Faulkner of Hemingway, Biographies, etc. Used American books are three times the original retail price here, and it is impossible to check out books in the libraries. Either I am going to turn into a voracious reader ro a writer..the rhythm of my life is very different here.
Also, Tequila )Cerovo gold) I'll pay you back...it'll be less than $20., it's double that here
Coat hangers (very important)
I'll be leaving this stuff here when I go, but they are thingsthat would even out the holes... O.K.?
They do supply the bare essentials. Linens, a hot plate, a few pieces of furniture. Everything else I either bring, or buy. I almost bought a can openr last night, but it was almost $6. for something that might be 1.99 at most inthe States, so I tought I could wait. I needto be eating fresh things anyway.
I had topay for an additional piece ofluggage, ($90) just for art supplys and clothing..but afte pricing things here, it was worth it. This place is GREAT. I think you would like it. The Foundation chares $75 a month for each guest. (whether youstay a night, or a month) They will supply you with a bed and linens. If the two fo you came fora day or two, with only a shoulder bag apiece, I could probably sneak you in. I'll know more about how this works after my Mom comes. The Hotels in this area are $280 a night, so the area is romantic, safe and centrally located. The Louvre, Pompideau and Clumy are all within walking distance, and Notre Dame in the arrondisment church.
So, the atelier is fantastique! My view is pretty impressive. There is a wall of windows with a view of the Sein and rue de Hotel de Ville below. The Seine shines in my window every night, the bateaux boats than float down it flash their lights in my room.. and I can see the twoer of Notre Dame. The view and light is to be invied by those on the other side of the hall. On the other hand,we've had few days of sunshine since I've been here. Winters here make summer in Scotland seem tropical.
And there is noise. So, if you have a problesm sleeping, bring something tohelp you, or try a different cabernet win a night, like I do. Thre street is very loud. Being ontheSeine, thre is a four lane road between the river and me; plus theyare sorking onthe Metro. I am ontheir 3rd floor, and it is sitll noisy. The Metro stop you got to, Pont Saint Marie is right below my window.
Please write and let me know what you plans are, or call if need to coordinate things a bit.
I hope to see you and hope to talk to you soon.
Much love,
PS As you may be able to tell, I am a bit isolated. The French classes will ehlp, 3 1/2 hours fro a month. I hope to make a few friends and be able to understand wat the men way when they talk to me onthe street. So, WRITE me, PLEASE!!!! Ilive for my mail, (I've heard from VISA thus far) Boy, wouldn't Paris make a great locale for an Obit? Lonely monlingual artist from the dee south O.D's from Nutella
Ok, ok! This is why I feel ageless when I am in Paris. It is one place where things rarely seem to change and if they do it usually gets better. For example - they finally finished that entrance to the metro they were working on in 1994....
Yes, I came across a journal into which I stuffed this letter while rummaging. I thought it was very appropriate for this post.
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